Am I Ready for Sex?
It is totally your call. And it is perfectly sensible and natural to ask yourself that question because the responsibility of its outcome lies totally with you. You - and only you - get to decide when you are ready to have sex.
AM I READY TO HAVE SEX? THINGS TO CONSIDER:
- It is a big step. So you should talk about your decision with a friend, adult or someone you are comfortable with and that you trust.
- Once you have sex, you cannot reverse it. So you must weigh how having sex, and the risks associated with it would fit in with your health, values, school goals, relationships with others, and your feelings about yourself(Very very important)
- There is no formula for having sex. Some people are ready to have sex when they meet someone new (just use a condom!!) and other want to wait a long time before they are ready to have sex. Each one is normal and only you can decide when you are ready.
Deciding when to have sex is a big deal! Sex can have serious consequences, like Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and pregnancy. Sex can be stressful if you have it before you are ready or if you have sex with someone you do not trust.
WHEN SHOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A GUY/GIRL? QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE DECIDING:
- Is this my decision or am I being influenced by my friends who are already having sex?
- Am I thinking of sex because my partner is putting pressure on me to have sex?
- Do I really know my partner that well?
- Am I comfortable with him/her?
- Am I emotionally ready?
- Can I talk to my partner freely and easily about sex?
- Do I know my protection options?
- Do we really want to do this?
- Do I know how to practice safe sex?
- Is it legal for me?
- Do I know enough about sex itself?
- Seek help from Non Governmental Organisation that focus on such issues.
HAVE YOU HEARD ANY OF THESE LINES BEFORE?
- Everyone is doing it!
- I am here and I am right. You will still have to do it now or later, why not now?
- You wanted to, why did you change your mind?
- I will be in and out in one second...
- I will be careful and you will enjoy it
- But you allowed ..., why not me?
- Don’t you love me?
- We will even get married!
- My waist will pain me if you do not allow me.
- If you do not do it, you will have fibroids!
- Not doing it is why I have stomach aches all the time, please help me!
- You will become a real woman when you do it.
- You will become a real man when we have done it.
- Are you still a baby?
- You will develop complications during childbearing later
If you recognise any of these statements, then you should stop and have a rethink because those are the wrongest reasons in the world to have sex! Anyone who tells you this is probably not looking out for you or he/she does not even want to genuinely find out if you are ready or not. These statements do not show respect for you and your body and those who talk like this are probably not good for you. You might want to consider taking time off from the relationship.
You should also not listen to friends who keep trying to put you down or want to make you feel immature because you have not had sex. Do not give in to that pressure. It is your life, it is your body and it is your decision.